Cordova Bay Elementary School

Over the past few months I have been connecting with children/teens in classrooms and doing outreach with those who use social media or video gaming excessively. What has come out is that many young people realize that they are using technology as a way of coping.

Getting distracted instead of doing homework is often due to teens struggling with emotional feelings, or challenging school work and they find technology is an escape. Many adults have shared that they have found themselves doing much the same thing. Adults say that when they are stressed they relax by playing on their phone, looking at social media or gaming. Once they have learned that exercise or connecting with a friend or family member or choosing other activities can be just as helpful, new habits form to replace the escape into technology. We need to help our children/youth to do the same. Make a family list of things to do besides technology and put this up in your home for all to view.

Two youth I met with admitted that when their parent was working a lot, playing video games and texting or chatting online helped them to not feel so alone. Many of the youth I talk to have also shared that they no longer feel comfortable being alone because they are connected all the time and that they feel bored without their devices.

In 2018 I took two courses through the Institute of Child Psychology and founders Tammy Schamuhn and Tania Johnson shared that diagnoses of ADHD, autism, coordination disorder, developmental delays, unintelligible speech, learning difficulties, sensory processing disorder, anxiety, depression and sleep disorders are associated with technology overuse and are increasing at an alarming rate.

Young people have also shared that it is easier to take rejection online than in person so texting, using social media or video gaming to communicate has become the easier form of interaction. More and more youth are realizing that this lack of in-person communication is leading to increased feelings of social anxiety.

What can we as parents do to help them to find better ways to cope and to communicate? We can help them set limits on their screen time by having conversations about what that can look like and if needed we can install apps that help them to monitor their use. We can encourage our kids to express and feel their emotions. We can continue to communicate with our kids verbally face to face, rather than through text so that our kids feel more comfortable communicating in person. We need to be present, without use of our own devices and this can make a huge impact on our relationship with our youth and is a great way to role model boundaries with technology. Maybe even spend time with your youth doing activities of their choosing.  A popular public speaker Collin Kartchner speaks openly about what teens are telling him about technology in his TedX talk, “Can flip phones end our social media addiction?” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMb0wqTqE_4  Please check it out and hear more from the voices of our children/youth who realize they may need support with their technology use.